Slacking on Posts Already...

So I said I was going to post everyday and that today was proven to be a lie... So since I last posted not much has happened... I still have the same thoughts and fears. Most of you seen my fbook post today about the rainy days. I had a really bad day today. I hate rainy days. I know that blain is not in the ground but up in Heaven probably watching over my future home, but i still hate the thought of it. We ordered a headstone finally and we got a bench! I was very adamit about getting a bench so I can go sit and visit as long as I want! The headstone will be black and have William Blain Cossey born 7/14/2011 died 12/29/2011 and it will have a picture of him and some clip art that consists of a baby with a star. The bottom of the headstone will say God's greatest gift returned to God. On the back of the stone it will read COSSEY and Son of and Brother of. It will be about 5-6 mo before we get the stone but i'm ready!!! Ok well thats all I have for today so i'll post again soon.

Blain Went to Sleep on Earth and Woke up in HEAVEN!

As most of you know we lost one of our twin boys on Decemeber 29, 2011. He was 5 months 15 days old. That morning was the worst day of our lives! I woke up at 445am to the most horrific scream coming from the boys room. I run in to find that Brant was holding his brothers hand and Blain was not breathing!!! We ran to the ER to later find that our son had been gone for a long time. We chose for Blain to be an organ donor so that some family that was given only one child would be able to enjoy their baby. Aurora the organ donor facility in Little Rock said they were able to recover Blain's heart valve tissue. They let me know that most people who are organ donors end up not saving lives but helping people live better. I learned Blains tissue WILL SAVE 2-4 babies depending on the baby's need. When we got the report back from the autopsy the ruled SIDS. However, everyday is a struggle for us. I have a sleepless night every night with the fear when I open my eyes my blue eye baby I have left will not open his eyes! I have trouble walking in his room to pick out clothes, I struggle going places and only packing for one baby, and buying clothes I want to buy two! Life is so different now! Since this has happened the only one to turn to is God. He is the only one with the Answers. My BIBLE tells me he makes no mistakes. I know that I will meet with one day for I have dedicated my life to HIM and Sunday and Wednesdays I can't wait to be in Church! I feel i'm starving for his word! The way I survive each day is I thank the Lord that he took the time to wake me, my baby, my husband and ask him for his strength and comfort throughout the day for I know I am weak! I know the world is a horrible place and BLain is much better and waiting on me and daddy and bubby to meet him. All I can say is See Ya SOON Son, Mommys coming home. I enjoy every moment I have with Brant! He is such as spoiled little boy and I would not have it any other way! It's time to put my little booger to bed so I will try and blog everyday. Hope you all enjoy, this is therapy for me. GoodNight All Hug kiss and squeeze your babies tight, for tomorrow is never promised, i'm living proof! I wish I could just hold Blain one more time and tell him Mommy Loves him and get some of those sweet open mouth slobbery kisses!

Playing Catch Up!!

Well well well where do we begin I guess May 19th. I had my regular check up at 9:30. We all took bets on how much the babies weighed for the excitement at this appointment. Brant and Blain weighed in at 1 lb 12 oz at this appt and all went well. Dr. Carlton had discussed taking me off of work because of the carpal tunnel causing more damage to the nerves in my hands from using them at work all day. However I got out of that one!! Yay! Tuesday night when i laid down for bed, I was having some pains in my belly like every 2 hours it felt like a constant charlie horse that wouldn't go away. I tried sitting up in the bed and it helped a little but when i stood on my feet it was resolved. I was not about to sleep standing up all night. HA! I was really thirsty that night i think i ended up counting 7 bottles of water i had drank that night. These pains lasted for the whole night 8 hours!! I was miserable but didn't think it was anything maybe a little bit of braxton hicks i had heard of...so I woke up wed morning (May 25) and got in the bathtub to try and get some relief. The warm water felt so good on my belly. I called my mother in law and told her i was going in to work but didn't get good rest and was having some pains to send someone to work for me that day, however i made a couple of other phone calls and they had other plans for me. I went to Dr. Carltons office where I seen the APN Mandy and my bp was really high and it seemed as if i was having a few contractions!! WOOAh! Way to early for these babies to be coming out! They done a swab on me called a fetal fibornectic which was the see if I would deliever in the next two weeks and sent me over to the OB for observation. I stayed there from 9-1:30. I learned my results were negative yay!! Dr. Carlton come in and put me on complete Bed Rest and i was told to f/u in 1 wk!!! Now we are at May 31st at my f/u appointment, We got to see our little boys on ultrasound and they weighed are u ready.... 2 lbs 5 oz!!! w0W!! maybe rest is what they needed! They having been enjoying mommy being on bed rest! I just thought they moved a lot during the day while i was working. They both move all day long and all night it's so sweet! So at this appt the babies had both flipped and were head down ready for delivery. I seen Dr. Carlton and she took me off work for the rest of the pregnancy and said we needed to keep babies in for at least 6 more weeks!! I want to keep them in for at least 9-10!! So now i'm confined to my house/couch/bed for the remaining time! I guess my body is really exhausted or it's that i have nothing else to do because i go to bed at 930 10 and i don't wake up until 1030 or so everyday. It's nice but feels strange being so worthless! HA! So Here we are June 1st and it's time for my fetal echo at UAMS. I've been trying to get to this appt for about 2 months now!!! So my appt is at 9 in little rock! I was not going to keep this appointment since the genetics counselor told us everything looked good with the hearts but because we are having trouble I thought I might as well go incase I deliver early, we will know they don't have heart trouble and place them under even more stress. I'm so glad we went because we got lots of pictures even 4d!! pix to come later I can only sit at the computer for so long. Brant likes to show out and doesn't like to share the spotlight of u/s with Blain poor guy! Both boys are growing great and up on task as a baby of a single pregnancy! yay!! this is great news! i HOPE i'm able to carry them for 10 more weeks and deliever 6lb babies!! please please please!! So now that is all the medical business We had my shower May 22nd and thank God we done it early because bed rest came shortly after!! I had a fantastic shower A SPECIAL THANKS TO EVERYONE!!! Who brought gifts for the boys!! You have no idea who much we appreciate it!!! We have a lot of people who care and love us and it was great to see most of them at the shower!!

My Belly at 24 Weeks

Idk who's Foot

Brant's Face he doesn't like to be looked at

23 wk belly
Blain he's the rowdy one but likes to show his face

Better Late than Never...

Alright here we are May 6th. I've been to the doctor twice now since my last post. One was just for the special ultrasound on the spines and everything went well!! YAY!!! The next was a routine appt on APril 28th that went good also!! Now I am 6 months and feeling pregnant!! I have developed carpal tunnel and it's so horrible I would not even wish this on my worse enemy! I'm miserable! I have tried accupressure... didn't work, popping the neck and wrists.. didn't work... sleeping in braces.. nope nothing is going to solve this issue except pushing 2 kids out! What else is new... I got a perm bc in the mornings I can barely brush my teeth much less hold a blow dryer and a round brush for 45 mins to blow dry this mop! I have been feeling the babies move like crazy!! It's so amazing and weird... at the same time. Oh yea at my appt Dr. Carlton brought it to my attention that I had a little more of a weight gain last month so that puts me weighing in around 145... give or take a few pounds who's counting.. baha!! I have gained 20 lbs so far I dont think thats half bad.. 20 lbs in 6 months and 2 babies... At my appt we also learned the babies were weighing in at almost 1lb and 1/2 each!! WOW huh!! I go back to the doctor May 19th so we shall see how big they are! My shower is also going to be this month May 22nd! WOOHOO Bring on the GOODIES!! Thanks to my good friends I have a furnished room with 2 baby beds 1 changing table a closet and dresser full of clothes and socks and blankets! Thank God for wonderful Friends!! I love yall!! Tank is slowly adjusting to the outside world.. He likes to stay out during the day but the night time is a different story! What can I say he's scared of the dark like his momma! It's a scary world out there at night all kinds of noises!! So he's been coming in at night and right back out in the am. We were thinking about getting him a playmate for outside but are still kind of indecivive about what to get or if we should... Okay enuff about tank now back to me... Hello! So you all warned me about the rude comments I would get while growing... So heres a few just to fill you in I was walking to the Dollar Store and the lady working there said oh wow your finally showing, my response was... yup been showin for a while now... she proceeds to say your 6 months and that small wow your babies must be really unhealthy!! WHOA WTF!! My reply.... Excuse you but my babies are perfectly healthy weighing above average right now and you can keep your effin(except I spit out the real word) comments to yourself you can't say anything nice! OHHHH I was sooo mad!! I stormed in and right out of the dollar store!! I couldn't believe she said that! This was one of my moments where I should have thought before I spoke but nah no time for that! She needed to know what was on my mind since she didn't seem to care how I felt. HA! I bet she doesn't say anything else hateful to me! BAHA! Oh and I didn't send her a shower invite! Haha!! What else.. a lady comes to my clinic and says oh lets see that belly I stand up, her facial expression and words were wow........(long pause) Are those babies okay..? Your not very big.. Is everything ok..? My response was everythings fine.... with a smurk on my face! PEOPLE!!! Just because i'm not a fat ass doesn't mean i'm unhealthy!! HELLO! I have gained 20 lbs and if youve seen me lately it's all belly well an a little booty but mostly belly!! I'm gonna go off the handle and slap somebody so keep your rude comments to yourself unless you wanna know how i really feel! I wanted to say well my doctor scolded me for gaining 20 and you say i'm unhealthy.. Good thing u don't know anything about being preg with twins! UGGG!! People drive me crazy! Ok yall can just imagine some of the other comments i've received! I shall stop my blood pressure is rising! Ok well I guess you will hear from me after my next Dr. Appt.. Hope yall enjoy reading still...

19 Week Appointment

I'm a little late updating my blog! Our appointment was Thursday March 31 and today is April 4 and i'm just getting here! I apologize now to my followers/creepers. This appointment was just a regular OB appt with an ultrasound and check up with the Dr. Everything went fine at this appt. However the next appt is the stressful one! Soo whats been going on since you last read... I'm getting fatter.. a given i suppose and I weighed in at 138. That's only 11 lbs gained in 5 months not bad for carrying two babies. Brant (baby a) weighed in at 10 oz and Blain (baby b) weighed in at 9 oz. Their little femurs measured 19 wks 0 days on both babies and their bellies measured 19 wks 4 days!! HA!! We've got some fattys headed our way. I must be doing something right! That was great news. Umm.. you are probably wondering how I know who baby a and baby b are right?? Well Let me tell ya a short story... Niecy went to Panama for Spring Break and come back with Bibs!! Cute right.... Well she insisted Baby A be Brant and Baby b be Blain b/c thats what she had air brushed on the Bibs! Guess it's a good thing I didn't want them to be in alphabetical order b/c I was thinking Baby A would be Blain and Baby B would be Brant.. But guess it'll be the other way around. Umm.. what else has changed..? I have been able to feel the babies move but not as much as I thought it would be by now. I figured that they would be kicking away. All I feel now is heaviness. I can feel when they change positions and feel their little hard bodies press against my skin but thats about it. Hopefully they'll start moving soon! And then i'll be praying they take it easy on me I know! I try to jump start them sometimes by giving them Mountain "Due" as the Moores sign has it spelled! HA Makes me laugh everytime! Well I gues that's it for now I will let you all know how my appt April 18th goes!! Thanks for following us!

Latest News

From my last appointment I was 1 day shy of getting labs so I got the labs done and got the results this week. In the beginning, I was warned that my labs may not be as accurate as the labs from a normal pregnancy because of the twin situation. There are not as many odds to check my labs with since most women concieve once child at a time vs 2. This week has been a little stressful and the added news from my labs didn't help much. I learned first that I was O- and going to have to receive a rhogam injection, which scared me at first then I learned there were several people who were O- and everything would be okay. Then, I learned that they came back positive for spina bifida. Which if you're not real certain what that is here is a definition. Spina bifida is caused by the failure of the neural tube to close during embryonic development. The neural tube is the embryonal structure that gives rise to the brain and spinal cord. This means one or both of our babies could have this. I am scheduled for a 2-D ultrasound April 18th. However good news is I get to go back on March 31st and see our little boys progress and get a closer look at their spinal cords before we go to the other u/s. Normally for the 2-D I would have to go to UAMS but thanks to the wonderful girls at Dr. Carltons office they worked me a miracle and I get to stay here. I'm hoping for the best results from the u/s but we shall see. If God wants us to have a baby or babies with this defect so be it. We'll love them anyway they are!

15 Week Appt

Alright gonna try something new with the blog this time let me know if ya like this. You can just leave a little comment below.

Here I am at 15 Weeks at this appt we learned that we are having two boys!!
Before I got Pregnant I weighed 127 and now i'm at 131.!! Yay keeping the weight gain at a small for now. I have been feeling the little guys move around like crazy I'm just ready to feel them on the outside! When that day come i'm sure i'll be changing my mind because the will be under my ribs and all over my bladder. Dr. Appt went well this time so I hope the same for my next appt.