Friday, February 3, 2012
So I said I was going to post everyday and that today was proven to be a lie... So since I last posted not much has happened... I still have the same thoughts and fears. Most of you seen my fbook post today about the rainy days. I had a really bad day today. I hate rainy days. I know that blain is not in the ground but up in Heaven probably watching over my future home, but i still hate the thought of it. We ordered a headstone finally and we got a bench! I was very adamit about getting a bench so I can go sit and visit as long as I want! The headstone will be black and have William Blain Cossey born 7/14/2011 died 12/29/2011 and it will have a picture of him and some clip art that consists of a baby with a star. The bottom of the headstone will say God's greatest gift returned to God. On the back of the stone it will read COSSEY and Son of and Brother of. It will be about 5-6 mo before we get the stone but i'm ready!!! Ok well thats all I have for today so i'll post again soon.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
As most of you know we lost one of our twin boys on Decemeber 29, 2011. He was 5 months 15 days old. That morning was the worst day of our lives! I woke up at 445am to the most horrific scream coming from the boys room. I run in to find that Brant was holding his brothers hand and Blain was not breathing!!! We ran to the ER to later find that our son had been gone for a long time. We chose for Blain to be an organ donor so that some family that was given only one child would be able to enjoy their baby. Aurora the organ donor facility in Little Rock said they were able to recover Blain's heart valve tissue. They let me know that most people who are organ donors end up not saving lives but helping people live better. I learned Blains tissue WILL SAVE 2-4 babies depending on the baby's need. When we got the report back from the autopsy the ruled SIDS. However, everyday is a struggle for us. I have a sleepless night every night with the fear when I open my eyes my blue eye baby I have left will not open his eyes! I have trouble walking in his room to pick out clothes, I struggle going places and only packing for one baby, and buying clothes I want to buy two! Life is so different now! Since this has happened the only one to turn to is God. He is the only one with the Answers. My BIBLE tells me he makes no mistakes. I know that I will meet with one day for I have dedicated my life to HIM and Sunday and Wednesdays I can't wait to be in Church! I feel i'm starving for his word! The way I survive each day is I thank the Lord that he took the time to wake me, my baby, my husband and ask him for his strength and comfort throughout the day for I know I am weak! I know the world is a horrible place and BLain is much better and waiting on me and daddy and bubby to meet him. All I can say is See Ya SOON Son, Mommys coming home. I enjoy every moment I have with Brant! He is such as spoiled little boy and I would not have it any other way! It's time to put my little booger to bed so I will try and blog everyday. Hope you all enjoy, this is therapy for me. GoodNight All Hug kiss and squeeze your babies tight, for tomorrow is never promised, i'm living proof! I wish I could just hold Blain one more time and tell him Mommy Loves him and get some of those sweet open mouth slobbery kisses!